THEME

Anonymous asked:

How does it make you feel to help all of these people? Do you feel responsible in any way? I love your blog and like reading the advice stuff :)

answered:

I try not to think about it too much - in the beginning I became obsessed and would spend all of my time on here making sure everyone was okay and thinking about their problems even when I wasn’t sat on my laptop answering their submissions. People send some pretty deep, personal stuff. But it is what I signed up for when making this page.

Then I remembered I was only one person with a laptop and I was doing the best I could, but ignoring other parts of my life. People need to take many of the things I say with a pinch of salt because I am - after all - just another 20 year old with a laptop and a tumblr account.

But yes, it does feel really good to know my advice has helped some people, and I love hearing that people like reading my responses. So thank you :)

Anonymous asked:

So, I've hung out with this guy (a good friend of one of my really close guy friends). We've hung out twice (in groups), haven't really talked much outside that, other than an occasional message "had fun let's do it again" "i agree!" He came to my birthday dinner (my friend invited him ). I want to send him a quick message and just say "Thanks for coming! We should try to get lunch soon!" Would that be terribly awkward? I don't want him to read too much into it, I just want a friendship for now!

answered:

Then message him! You’re doing eveything right - take it slow and see how it goes. There is no reason he would not want lunch with you - particularly as it’s just friendly. If he says no then he’s clearly weird.

Anonymous asked:

How do you flirt? Because I'm literally a potato and I don't know how to do it lol... Also, how can you tell if a guy likes you? Like I know it may vary but other advice blogs are just like "the way he acts" but that's not an answer.

answered:

Potatoes are flirty so you go get ‘em gurl. Flirtatoes.

You can tell if a guy likes you if he frees up his schedule just for you and takes you somewhere nice or does something memorable with you and puts his energy into spending time with you and getting to know you. There are no mixed messages when a guy definitely likes a girl - if he seems like he isn’t sure on you, you have nothing to prove to him so don’t waste your time. Flirting is something that happens naturally whether you are attracted to someone or not. Even blushing uncontrollably and being really awkward and quiet and laughing at everything they say (and not knowing why you’re doing it) can be seen as flirting. All flirting is is showing someone you’re interested. Just be friendly, take out of the equation how much you fancy them, and think of it as two nice people getting to know eachother. It should happen naturally. Eye contact is important. Just be friendly. Find something weird about them that you don’t think other people will notice and compliment them on it - their socks or their ears or their eyebrows. Be you and don’t force anything or you will seem more awkward and ingenuine. Have fun. Don’t take it too seriously.

Anonymous asked:

CONTINUED- After the dance he told my bff he felt bad about it & he should've never did it, but right when he asked the hot girl he told one of my guy friends that he felt bad but wanted to ask that girl; should I give him a second chance? He keeps texting me like nothing happened etc. and he acts "couple-y".. Idk what to do because I think I could still like him. Thanks in advance <33

answered:

I don’t think you should forget what he did, but life is too short to hold grudges and it’s not like the two of you were officially together so he is free to do what he wants. My only advice is to keep a friendship going with him because I think he sounds like he at least could be a good friend to you, but not to go any further with him or read too much into his behaviour. I don’t think you should aspire to be with a guy who does that to his friends anyway, particularly seeing as he knew you liked him. Give it time, you’ll be okay, and it’s his loss.

Anonymous asked:

Hi love, warning this is long and will be in two messages! Sorry :3 Well there's this guy&we were/are friends. We were so close that people assumed we were dating. We spent a lot of alone time going on walks,dinner, etc (he initiated). He found out I liked him&I heard he formed feelings for me too. We have this dance &he asked the hot girl he never talked to &not me. He wouldn't talk to me after that because he thought I'd be upset. CONT. IN NEXT MESSAGE...

answered:

Hello,

I think he sounds sweet but he may have lead you on. I think if he had formed feelings he would not have asked this other girl out. CONT. IN NEXT MESSAGE…

Anonymous asked:

Are you still giving advice?

answered:

I am now!

Anonymous asked:

hi, I don't know if you answer questions like these, I'm not even sure this will make sense or turn out as a question.. but lately I've been really upset about my weight, not that I'm like overweight, but I don't feel like I'm skinny enough.. so I go on these "starving periods" like I won't eat anything for like a week, just drink water.. I guess that's bad.. I don't exactly know what I'm looking for.. Maybe that it's okay? or I should try something different to lose weight? I don't know.. :/

answered:

I do my best to answer questions on anything. 

I think you need to focus less on your exterior and more on why you have this attitude with food. Why is it that the only way you can feel in control is when you’re depriving yourself? This is not a long term way to lose weight, it can be damaging to your body, and I hope you can see that doing that for the rest of your life would be crazy so something needs to change. How do I know? Because I have the exact same mentality with food, particularly when things get a bit hectic. I’m better know, but when I was younger it was really, really bad. You need to get out of this cycle now before it becomes like a pattern in your lifestyle that becomes etched into your brain permanently. 

The best way to stay slim is to calorie count, exercise within reason, and keep a stable food regime a consistent part of your life instead of yo-yoing like you are right now. The reason yo-yo diets are so dangerous is that yes, you can drop a lot of weight, but the faster you lose it the easier it is to put it all (and more) back on. But first, please consider that you need to work on you and having a really exciting, healthy relationship with food and the weightloss will soon follow. Eat all day long, but make sure you eat the right things. Never skip a meal. Try to eat as much fruit and veg as you can, because they will never make you gain weight. Try not to let yourself get too hungry. Do not replace meals with water or you will need to go to the bathroom all the time and your immune system and digestive system and metabolism will all slow down. It’s not hard to get on track once you do - and please do not obsess with weighing yourself. The scales provide a number, but every body is different and what you see when you look in the mirror or try on some nice clothes is far more important than what scales can show you.

I hope this helped. 

Anonymous asked:

So I've liked this guy for a while now, but haven't told him about it yet. We text each other a lot, and play games together... things like that. He's always very flirty. Recently however he seems a little more distant. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm worried that I might have missed my chance. Should I just go for it, or should I just leave things be now?

answered:

Go for it. If he’s becoming distant anyway you have nothing to lose. Besides, if you don’t you may always wonder about if you had ‘gone for it’ with this guy. You never know.

Anonymous asked:

So, I really like this guy, and we've been flirting for quite awhile now. He knows something is wrong, but I refuse to tell him. I don't want him to know what a mess I am. I've hide all of these secrets from him, and I don't want him to find out. I don't know how he'll react. I don't wanna scare him off because he is the only person who really makes me happy..

answered:

People can surprise you. If he runs then he’s not man enough to deal with the real you and not secure enough in himself or mature enough - which is fine, it just means he’s not good enough for you. At this point with you refusing to open up, all he is going to think is that you don’t trust him and it’s not going to progress until you do show him the real you. It all comes out eventually anyway, so I think you should be brave and just tell him as much as you think it is wise to trust him with. It will at least give you a clear idea of how much he likes the real you.

Anonymous asked:

So I met this guy last week and he just happens to be one of my best friend's coworkers. It was really quick but he was so cute and in the short time we met I became really infatuated with him and I really want to get to know him better or something but I've never like initiated anything before and I don't even know how to go about it without having to go through my friend, you know? And like what would I even say, what if he's not into it? I've been single for like 5 years haha out of practice

answered:

If he’s not into it then there’s not a whole lot you can do, but at least you tried and for all you know it could be well worth asking! Life’s too short - we spend so much time stressing over decisions with our relationships instead of actually doing what we want and acting on our feelings. Take it slow, it’s not a race, and at this point don’t take anything too seriously - keep in mind that you don’t know him very well and until you do who knows how it could progress.